Sometimes, despite our best efforts, friendships end.

Friends (or you) Move Away

The friendships may or may not continue, depending on how deep the relationships were. Even so, opportunities to meet face to face become more difficult.

Disagreement can Separate Friends

A friend and I hurt each other. As much as I asked forgiveness and wanted to reconcile, she was not open to it. I’ve had to conclude that I have done what God asked of me and this is no longer my problem. I leave it to God, knowing he loves us both unconditionally.

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18

Ask for, and Give Forgiveness

Seek forgiveness when needed and own any wrong you may have done. If it is given and received, restoration can occur and God be honored.

My husband was deeply hurt by someone he respected. Before he died, he worked hard to forgive, and with God’s help was able to. However, he didn’t want to continue the relationship. https://www.carolloewen.com/finding-hope-through-forgiveness/

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18, NIV

Signs a Friendship Should End

If you don’t have much in common any more, or feel drained when with that person, that may be a sign the friendship needs to end. Other signs are competitiveness, harsh judgment, or a lack of respect for boundaries.

How do we respond when a friendship ends?

Try to understand the other person’s perspective. Even if you disagree with it, understanding may help you let go.

Realize it may have been friendship for a season. When my late husband and I were 3000 miles from home for a liver and pancreas transplant, God brought several special people into our lives to love on us, encourage us, and help us in very practical ways. Danita often came to the hospital, picked up my keys, took dinner to my apartment across from the hospital, then returned the key to me and went home. John lent me his truck after our “living costs” covered by insurance ran out and I turned in our rental car. These new friends had spent time with us both before Jerry’s surgery and we were very grateful for them “in a foreign land (state).”

After Jerry died, Danita and Michael hosted an evening with a small group of people who had surrounded us. My brother and I were able to tell them more about Jerry, cry with them, and laugh about some stories. While the relationships ended after Jerry’s death and my move back to California, I recall it with gratitude and love for those dear friends at a critical time of need. And they are now free to love and serve others. (I am also still in touch with two dear friends I met during that time.

Forgive. Don’t avoid the pain and discomfort. Let yourself be sad, and remember to be patient with yourself. Know that some days, you’ll feel amazing, while others may force you to take a step back. Anger, denial, and finger-pointing are all par for the course – allow yourself to feel these emotions without judging yourself. BUT FORGIVE!

Unforgiveness is the poison that destroys the vessel that holds it. Phillips, Craig and Dean

If you need to, cry. Journal. Get outside. But allow those feelings to flow through you in order to heal. Pray.

Cast your burdens on the Lord, for He cares for you. Psalm 55:22

Create wise boundaries. A woman who leaves an abusive situation may forgive her husband. But she should not return to the situation unless the husband has received, and demonstrated, repentance and a change in behavior. I just heard of a lovely young woman who accepted a man’s marriage proposal. Immediately after they were engaged, he became controlling. She was wise to end the engagement.

Act with honor and respect. Don’t gossip. Don’t speak ill of your former friend. Keep your disagreement between yourself and the other party. When asked, you can say something like “We had a disagreement and, at least for now, have parted ways.” Seek support in new, trusting friendships.

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. Proverbs 26:20

Commit your former friend, and friendship, to God. You may not be able to resolve the friendship. Leave it to him. I’ve had several situations where individuals wanted nothing to do with me, but where over time, they learned to know me and trust me. That’s God’s work, not mine.

You can’t control your friend, and may be unable to “fix” your relationship. I had to learn this with a step-daughter. As much as I tried to build a friendship with her, she did not want to connect. I finally realized my responsibility was to love her as Jesus loves me, and to leave her to Him. That realization gave me great freedom!

https://www.familychristian.com/faith/how-to-end-a-friendship-with-honor/