“One of the things I’ve learned this past year is that I’m really good at trusting God when I’m in control.” So said Danny Bennett, a pastor in Santa Cruz when asked what he learned during this last pandemic year. Do you resonate with that statement as I do?

Control–what an elusive idea. We like to think we’re in control, of finances, careers, families, living situations and life choices. We even have a “control” button on our computers! But often these choices are taken out of our hands, whether by illness, a pandemic and resultant shut-down, a government coup, or something else.

I work best with a budget and when it looked like we were losing a specific amount of money each month, I wore that burden heavily. That night as I crawled into bed beside Don, I said “can we talk?” And as I shared with him my frustration that I couldn’t figure out why, according to the budget, we seemed to be losing money month by month, he encouraged me, told me we’d look at it together and figure it out. The next day I received news that changed the whole picture for the positive.

My budget allows me to think I’m in control, when in reality life circumstances can change it drastically. A catastrophic illness, damage to home or vehicle, any of these and a thousand more can wreak havoc on carefully thought-out financial planning.

This past year many of us put plans on hold because of the pandemic. Families lost loved ones, here in the United States and around the world. Businesses that had done well closed for lack of customers. Doors were shuttered, furniture cleared out with “For Rent” signs in the windows. Locked in, unable to visit with external family and friends, fearful of contracting this virus, we felt out of control. We didn’t even want to make eye contact in the grocery stores!

Scripture says our lives are a vapor, a mist–gone in a moment. And we aren’t privy to when that moment will be.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.

James 4:13-15, NIV

We’re encouraged by God to plan, to dream. But not to act like we’re in control of the details of our lives. I wasn’t in control when I was threatened with disfiguration and death while ministering in the ghetto (and God protected each of us); I wasn’t in control when I left that ministry, not knowing what was ahead for my life; I wasn’t in control when my first husband died; nor when my mother died and I went into a deep depression. I’m not in control of many of the details and circumstances of my life.

But I know the One who is in control, and He is trustworthy and true. All I need do is take the next step, listen for His guidance and then take the next step. But we need to admit we need His help.

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

Psalm 73:28, NIV

What have you learned during this past year about yourself, God, relationships, or anything else?